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March 23, 2009
Guest Paper*
CLEANLINESS
Cleanliness, is the
most important virtue. It is always, not
only for health, but also for the future of any family.
Whenever
you go out to Look for a Girl for your Son, first look at the
house from outside, and the locality as well.
Then, carefully look inside the house, the way Drawing or the Visitors’
Room is set, and the Cleanliness of the Floor.
If Visitors’ Room is scented with Sprays and Incense,
immediately become Careful. The People are either
putting up a Show; or are trying to mask the Stink there. Yes, they may be trying to hide, and cover up
the lack of regular Cleaning and proper Maintenance of the House.
If the
People in the House are also heavily scented, that means they are most probably
not personally hygienic and clean. They
are smelly people, dependent only upon the scents, to pass-off as being
acceptable to others. Or they are Showy
People, wanting to smell pleasant to others.
If the
Mother of the Girl is, and or other Women in the House are, heavily and fully
covered with Shawls, or have fully covered themselves complete with the Pallu of their
Saris, those need not be signs of Modesty.
Be careful, they may have many things to hide. May be, they have deceased skin with patches,
or wounds etc on their shoulders and necks; or ulcers and sores caused by some
disease. May be, they are without a
blouse and topless. Or, they had been
caught totally by surprise when they were half-naked on the top, and hence had
quickly covered themselves with the Pallu of their Saris, or some Shawl. Or, they and their blouses are too dirty
that, they themselves are ashamed, and hence had to cover themselves. It is also quite possible that, they may have
not taken baths for many days, and changed their clothes. Hence, their Blouses and Tops may be black,
have dark oil and other stains, to cover which they may be covering themselves
fully.
Some
Girls, Women may stink even from distance, especially their clothes and hair. That also indicates that, they don’t wash
their hair; or they don’t take bath at all regularly, or just do not bathe at
all ever. They may stink very badly, but
not realise it themselves, as they have gradually got used to their own
stinking Smells, as they began to Stink gradually
without taking bath. The reasons may be
shortage of water, non-availability of hot water, simple laziness, total
indifference, and an awfully false feeling that their bodies don’t and won’t
stink ever, like most other girls and women.
When you
see the Girl, look at her Nails in hand and also in
the legs. If they are grown up dark dirty
distorted and unkempt, that only means that she is not either so careful a
Girl, or do not bother about her own basic personal physical Cleanliness of her
own body and person. And it only
indicates her poor bad grooming. She is
definitely, not meticulous in her own upkeep and personal hygiene.
See
thereafter, the upkeep of their Kitchen, Utensils and also the Floor therein. Look particularly, at the conditions of the
Cookers and Frying-Pans. Note, whether
they are clean, or pitch dark like Devils’ Pans, with burnt hardened cakes of
oil and Masala
mixes sticking on, like dark cement plasters, almost like pan-cakes on both
inside and outside, and have become thick, as if it is a mud pan. That will surely indicate the overall General
Cleanliness of all the People in that House, and also the exact Attitudes and
total Responsibility, both the Girl and her Mother takes, in maintaining the
Kitchen, cleanliness of the utensils, House and surroundings Clean and
Hygienic. The Girl is then bound to be
as indifferent as her mother, if not initially when she marries your son, but
very soon thereafter. You definitely
don’t want your son to feel miserable in his married life, or the visiting
relatives and friends talk ill of your son, his family, his house and about
their Cleanliness.
If
Possible, see also the Bed Room, and look at the Pillows there. If they are full of clothes lying, hanging
here and there, or heaped on to the bed, they only show their carelessness
indiscipline; lack of any order discipline and seriousness in the personal
life. If the bedroom, bed sheets and
pillows are dirty, almost black; smelly soiled stained with many big yellow and
brownish patches, be sure then that the personal physical health and oral
hygiene of those People, are bad and poor.
Definitely keep away from them forever, and do not take the Girl for
your Son from that House.
See then
the Dressing Table. If that is packed with bottles
of scents snow Vaseline etc, then be sure the Family and the Girl are big
spendthrifts, showy vain people, interested in show and makeups.
Hopefully,
you have enquired and checked about, the general health of the Girl. You should also look about the health of her
father and mother, and also the size of her brothers and sisters, particularly
the married sisters and their children.
Beware, if any of them are skinny, fat and
bulky, limping and so on. They will
surely indicate the specific genetic problems, hereditary diseases, congenital
defects, or physical disorders in family.
Please check-up also for any symptoms or reported and known cases of
mental retardation, other mental illnesses, psychiatric problems, epilepsy, asthma,
sugar and BP Complaints in that family.
They are not simple medical issues, but those will make life and future
miserable for your son, with heavy financial outlay on doctors
medicines hospitalisation and other Medicare.
After all, it is your son’s life, and it is he who is going to live and
suffer all along, for a full lifetime in future with the girl. You definitely don’t want your son to suffer.
See
finally how she behaves with her brothers and sisters. If there is any indication that she is very
close to them, or too attached and fond of them, be careful and warned, from
the very beginning. She is going to be a
Problem even after Marriage. She will
invariably stick close to her family; neglect or totally avoid your family, and
not entertain your other children. Thus,
through the marriage of your son with that girl, you run the danger of loosing
your son forever to her and her family.
Most
importantly, look at the number of her friends, and other young boys present in
the house, when you go to see her. That
may invite trouble in future, in the relationship between your son and his
wife. So be careful about this Point.
Last but
not the least, go then to the Bathroom.
Feel if it stinks from outside itself.
Then take a look inside. See the
colour and upkeep of Toilet Seats, whether they are clean, gone yellowish, or
become totally dirty and dark. That is
necessary, as that will indicate and show the Girls personal hygiene,
cleanliness of her body and even the private parts. For many girls and women these days, do not
bother to wash their bottom after urinating.
They don’t even sit-down to wash their bums clean, after going to
toilet. They just pour, or forcefully
splash two three or more mugs of water, on their private parts while standing,
come out to dress and apply scents to cover up the smell of Urine, and stink of
Faecal Matters in their bottoms. They
pickup such practices and bad habits in schools on seeing the boys standing and
urinating. Or, from
the college and hostels from other girls. Or they get these, from their young childhood
days, on seeing their mothers fathers or other
women. Some say and argue, ‘.... if boys
and men piss standing, and comeback after shaking their penises to discard all
last droplets of urine, why not we girls and women, and myself do like
that?’ So such girls and some of the
women urinate, in standing position like the boys and men, and come away like
that, without washing. At the most, they
may wipe their orifices off, of any wetness, with their skirts. And thus, they and their skirts smell
horribly. On this aspect alone, you must
reject any girl, whatever be the other factors and
backgrounds.
All the
above does not mean or amount to snooping around, and or finding faults, with
Girl her mother or her parents, or her family and her house. But you must get, a basic understanding of
the Girl and her Family Background, and reasonably estimate how healthy she
will be, how well she will behave and be in future; and how good she will look
after your son and their children. Her
Education, Employment, the Positions and Statuses of her Father and perhaps
Mother, and their wealth and riches will not show all these, or reveal the
future. Hence, you must make sure of
these, as far as possible. And hence, these
are generally, sure indicators of the Girl and her family, and help you to
reasonably predict and foresee her behaviour in future.
– Pr TS Kalanjali**
*****************************************
* Compiled from the Discussions
in a small Meeting in Bangalore, encouraged and also facilitated by Social
Study Circle, of Small Groups of Concerned Dalit
Women, seriously worried now about Emerging Family Problems.
** Pr (Mrs) TS Kalanjali,
is a Trainer of Students and Teachers, who is now posted at present in DIET
Rural